After sitting through many grueling work trainings and orientations, I’ve realized most people are not aware of proper work place etiquette. I mean sure everyone is aware of the basic rules like only sexually harassing fellow employees at happy hours, and changing one’s password every 90 days. However, I feel not enough people are aware of the real rules around the work place; the rules, if followed strictly, prevent you from becoming that co-worker.

The Rules:

Respect others time … on the elevator. That’s right the elevator is a communal transport. Unless you are the only one on the elevator, you owe certain decency to the rest of the people. Consequently, if you accidently push the wrong floor, apologize to the fellow riders. Do not (unless handicapped or injured) go up one-two floors if stairs are available, it DOESN’T make sense. And finally NEVER EVER hold the elevator door while you continue to talk to someone on that floor.

Respect others space … in the bathroom. If you are using a urinal, don’t lean on the mini wall in-between the urinals, you’re crowding the other guy. And if you’re using the stall don’t spread your feet so wide that they are creeping into the stall next door. When you are at the sink, avoid splashing and if you really MUST rinse out your mouth don’t spit from far up top! Come down to the washbasin level please.

Respect others work ethic … by avoiding making random sounds. When eating in your cube or office, chew with your mouth closed. Do not make any slurping sounds. And prepare your lunch in the kitchen so that you don’t make a ruckus and disturb others. Next, do not clip your nails around other co-workers. Not only is that disgusting, it makes a persistent distinct sound for five minutes. Finally, typing loudly is a decision not a condition.

If you follow these rules I guarantee you will be well liked around the office. Well guarantee is a strong word, but you’ll definitely have a chance.

I’ll bill this one to one of the training codes cant figure out which one …

On the list of the vast things that I hate about this world, I have yet again added something else. I can’t say this is a newly formed hatred, in fact, the hatred might go as far back as my conception. However, this is the first time I am informing the world and declaring: I HATE SURPRISE PARTIES! 

I understand the shock value in that statement. How can I hate surprise parties?! My family and/or friends getting together and putting together an event in my honor and yet I am unappreciative of this gesture. Nevertheless as always I have my well thought out (and poorly articulated) reasons for this hatred.

The Build Up:

Essentially a surprise party starts off as a huge secret and ends up as a huge nuisance to the guest of honor. The host is able to keep a surprise party a secret via texts and email chains until the day of the party, and that’s when the secret becomes a hassle for the guest of honor.  The host always comes up an elaborate story to get the guest of honor to the venue. However, the host always underestimates the amount of questions the guest of honor will ask. Consequently, the elaborate story transforms into a Manti Te’o-esq web of lies, which leads to delays in plans and further frustrations and finally resulting in a frustrated, angry guest of honor walking into his/her surprise.  

Invitees:

Due to the obvious nature of surprise parties the guest of honor never gets to create a guest list for his/her party. For this reason whoever is hosting the party with the help of others creates a guest list of his/her choice. Because of personal biases, the creator of the guest list might leave off people that the guest of honor would have included and on the other hand invite people that the guest of honor wouldn’t have. This situation leads to the guest of honor showing up to his/her surprise and not only to be surprised by the party itself but also by the people who are at the party. He or she has to hang out with people that they had no plans hang out with originally. Everyone knows there is nothing worse then a forced hangout. To makes matters worse, the guest of honor has to go around and thank everyone for coming to the party. As if they have all promised to donate their kidneys to you.

Credit:

The biggest irony about surprise parties is the fact that they are actually not thrown for the guest of honor. The parties are actually thrown so that the host can receive as much appreciation as they possibly can. Appreciation for caring bout the guest of honor, appreciation for taking the time from their busy schedules to plan the party, appreciation for the fun, the food… The party is not a success until the host has been fully praised.

Thus, I request, I beg, I plead please do not throw me a surprise party ever… well unless it includes Kate Upton inside a cake.

I’ll bill this to work birthday parties? …. Eh maybe.

Fantasy sports are and have been a multi-million dollar industry for many years now.  And the reason for its success is its simplicity.  In the beginning of the season you pick certain players for your team and set a starting line up.  Each player then gains points according to the scoring criteria. Every season there are superstars, duds, and surprise players with breakout seasons.  The fantasy arena takes a certain skill and luck to pick the correct players to give you the best results. But to achieve this skill you have to start to think in a fantasy mindset. You have to be brave and pick up unknown players, and become heartless and cut players from your team in the same second. After being in that fantasy mindset for several years, I’ve realized, you can use the same fantasy mindset in your normal life with the same success. If you look around you in your everyday life there are the same amount of superstars, duds and surprise people.  And if you assign the correct point value to each of these players you will be able to judge whether you will have a successful hangout or not.

Just like each fantasy sport has a different scoring system, hangouts also have a different scoring system. The hangout scoring system depends on four things: People, Activity, Money Spent, and Time Wasted

People

Each player or person attending the hangout has a certain rating; the higher the rating the more fun that particular person. The fun factor can depend on multiple things such as fun conversation, how easy-going they are, and of course hot girls score the highest in this category.  A person can also have a negative score based on their buzz-killington status, bitchiness, and if they notoriously try to end the night early.  The scores of every person in the hangout are added up together. 

Activity

The activity of the hangout is given an over all score. The score for the activity depends on the mood and location of the activity. For the most part libraries, museums and any cultural activities will receive lower to negative scores. And activates such as athletics, nice nightclubs, and gentlemen’s clubs receive higher positive scores.

Money Spent

The Money Spent score depends on how much money is spent during the hangout. However, the Money Spent score is the most subjective score of them all. This score depends purely on the Activity and People scores. If the Activity and People scores are both high then the spending more money will not negatively affect the Money Spent score. However, if the People score is low and a lot of money is spend on the activity the Money Spent score will be negatively impacted. 

Time Wasted

The Time Wasted score is an important but difficult score to calculate. Based on the activity a hangout can last all day or just an hour. One has to score this only how you score a Defense in Fantasy Football. You start off with a certain number of expected points and as you feel more of your time is wasted you deduct from the total.

Differences/Problems

Of course unlike fantasy sports you are not competing with anyone with the final hangout score. You use the final hangout score for your own guidance to figure out whether the hangout was worth it or not. BUT… one small problem …I don’t know how to quite calculate the final score.

Ill bill this one to Research and Development in an attempt to patent this method…

Just like everything in life such as deodorant I am hopping onto the Shit People Say bandwagon a bit late. Nevertheless I hope you guys enjoy it!

Shit Girls Wished Guys Said

• Guy: “I don’t even like blowjobs.”
• Guy: “Oh man… she hasn’t used a exclamation point in the last three texts she sent me in the last 10 minutes, she’s definitely not desperate.”
•  Guy1: “Dude did you hear Orakpo’s out for the season!!!!!” Guy2: “ITS JUST A FUCKING GAME!”
• Guy: “My mom IS a bitch.”
• Guy: “This girl hasn’t responded to me, I guess she’s not into me. I’ll just text her telling her she’s beautiful and leave her alone after that.”
• Guy: “She doesn’t even need to work out.”
• Guy: “Her life is tough enough. She should just quit her job.”
• Guy: “I don’t understand why guys like strip clubs?”
• Guy: “I should get her brother a job.”
• Guy: “Her sister should just live with us.”
• Guy: “I am having SO MUCH FUN planning my in-laws anniversary party. Ahhhhhhh! Countdown 88 days!!!!!!!
•  Guy: “Her outfit is so hott yet classy.”
• Guy: “Damn, I’m such a perv, why was I staring at the cleavage she was revealing for the other guy.”
• Guy: “I usually love having sex with a lot of girls, but I’m gonna quit that while pursuing this one.
• Guy: “The sex is so much better because I love her.”
• Guy: “She’s such a guys girl.”
• Guy: “She deserves my money and everything else.”

I’ll bill this one to client wish-list….

As we all know the first amendment of the US Constitution states, “Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of cheap marketing gimmicks.”  And consequently, many corporations now of days are exercising such rights to take a stance on hot political topics. In specific, Oreo’s and Chik-fil-a, recently have taken opposing views on same sex marriages. Unfortunately, however, there haven’t been many other corporations who have followed suit to pick a side in this debate.  I feel that corporations are missing out on opportunities here to exercise their God given rights; in particular fast food chains (because we all know Nabisco, and Chik-fil-a need to worry about same sex marriages more then the nutrition their products provide). Following is some guidance to fast food chains on picking a side on same sex marriages.

McDonald’s (Pro Same Sex Marriage): I think this is an easy one for McDonald’s. Their mascot, Ronald, has been dressing in drag for a while now. He has never had a relationship with another woman and we all know Hamburglar and Ronald have had something going on behind closed doors.

Burger King (Anti Same Sex Marriage): Caught up, in an old fashioned fake monarchy, Burger King would be best suited to side against same sex marriages. The King himself has to wear a crown and expensive tasteless clothes to prove his dominance. This screams insecurity, ignorance and social unawareness.

In-N-Out & Five Guys (Pro Same Sex Marriage): These two are self-explanatory. In-N-Out not only a great name for a fast food place but also, a great slogan for when they support same sex marriages. And Five Guys well…

Jack in the Box (Anti Same Sex Marriage): A CEO who wears a mask, with a creepy smile and threatens his competitors, physically? Seems like a womanizer to me. Moreover, how many times do you think he’s used “Jack in the Box” as a pick up line with girls?

There you have it fast food chains, just some simple ideas to jump on this lucrative opportunity out there. I am positive these ideas will cause, protests, bans, picketing, and in turn more media coverage and customers. So go ahead, take a stance on same sex marriage, remember Thomas Jefferson said you could.

I guess I’ll bill this to my lunch break…

(Warning: This is sarcasm. Only meant to offend those without a sense of humor.)

With the start of month of Ramadan in the Islamic Calendar, many of my non-believer friends have been asking me questions about fasting and the reasons behind the month itself. I’ve decided to answer everyone’s questions via blog to clear up all the confusion and disclose the reasons behind fasting in the month of Ramadan.

Around 600-700 AD the Middle East was struggling with a bleak recession. The area was plagued with unemployment, low production rates, and failing financial institutions.  God worried that the unemployment and poverty will defect His new believers and so He needed to come up with some sort of stimulus package to boost up production in the work place. He started reading articles in the Wall Street Journal and white papers written by MBA professors from the top Universities to come up with some sort of idea. He finally hired economists and psychologists to study trends and the culture around the workplace. After reading the reports, God noticed one glaring fact staring back at Him: too many water cooler, snack breaks and too long of lunch breaks. Many employees would get up and get water once every 60-90 minutes, which at times would be followed by long conversations with other co-workers. Moreover, even though employees were only allotted 30 minutes for lunch, many of them would take 45 minutes to one hour lunches and would not make up that time at the end of the day. The lunch would then be followed by a lunch coma that created another hour of unproductive time. Finally at 3 pm, for no apparent reason employees would be hovering around the vending machine trying to pick a snack for the afternoon. God, noticed around 2-3 hours of the day were being consumed in such activities, not counting the bathroom breaks that resulted because of such activities. Two to three hours or more was unacceptable and these unproductive hours needed to be taken care of. The Department of Labor would not let God take away every employee’s lunch break, nor would it let God increase the working hours during the day. What could God do to keep employees at their desk?! …Fasting. Fasting was God’s answer to unproductive employees. God would ask the employees to fast from sunrise to sunset for one month. Exactly the hours most employees were in the office. Employees could not consume water, or food, consequently would have no reason to get up from their desk. Since they were not consuming water or food there was no reason to take bathroom breaks. A 30 minute lunch break was still permitted but, all one could do was surf the web, because taking a walk outside was just to tiring and boring. The fasting would last longer right before the fiscal year ended and would be shorter after that.  This was the perfect solution to take care of unproductively and unemployment, however God did not factor in certain side effects of fasting.

Even though, God had finally got employees to sit at their desk and work, fasting was causing certain unanticipated problems, which again caused a decrease in productivity.  Many of the employees were coming into work tired and sleepy because they would wake up before sunrise to consume as much food as possible before fasting began. God, didn’t realize that the fasting would result in consumption of oily, unhealthy foods that would take a toll on employees health. God also didn’t anticipate the amount of food that would be consumed at sunset and before sunrise. There was also a huge problem with fatigue and boredom by the end of the day. Since the employees did not have a lunch break to look forward to, they didn’t really understand what they were working toward. They had lost their focus. Finally one of the strangest problems was, bad breath. God realized by not eating the human bodies produced bad breath, and because of the bad breath employees were discouraged to talk to each other and had trouble conducting productive meetings.

Taking note of all the unforeseen consequences of fasting God was about to do away with the yearly requirement. However, He noticed that all the employees were actually enjoying the month. Large, lavish parties were being thrown every day after sunset. Feasts were being prepared, for everyone, rich or poor, and optimism was at a new high. For some odd reason people were spending money, sharing wealth and in effect it boosting the economy. Pleased with all the unaccounted for success, not only did God decide to keep the month of Ramadan, but also give a day off at the end of the month.

(Many others have tried to apply similar work stimulus packages, such as Steve Jobs and Donald Trump, however, they have not been as successful.)

There you have it everyone the reason behind Ramadan and the month of fasting

I’ll bill this one to Paid Time Off for religious holiday…wait do we get that? 

As I grow older, I’ve started noticing my taste and tolerability of girls is changing. When I was young and hopeful I expected nothing less then a 10 and well, every girl had the same personality back then so that really didn’t matter. However, at this age, numerical rankings change on a daily basis, yet more and more specific personality traits are added to the requirements chart. Don’t get me wrong if a Mila Kunis showed up at my door it will still pitch a tent in my shorts, but don’t get me wrong, Mila Kunis isn’t going to show up at my door anytime soon. I have to be realistic about the girls I date. I have to get practical! And for that reason I’ve decided, I can’t date girls who don’t understand Seinfeld pop-culture references.

Seinfeld references are the corner stone of American society. They are more important than the star-spangled banner, the Pledge of Allegiance, and Kate Upton dancing to the dougie … ok, sorry I got a little carried away. Nevertheless, not only, are Seinfeld references, amusing, but they are ahead of their time, educational and conversation time-savers.

Ahead of their time?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that: Here we are in 2012 and we have a US President that finally openly supports same-sex marriages. Of course every girl you meet now of days lectures you on how she’s so proud of Obama, and recounts every pride parade she’s been to. But all I can think is, “babe, Larry David taught me about acceptance of same sex relationships long time ago.”

Educational?

Shrinkage: This common and unfortunate phenomenon can cause a lot of confusion and disappointment. However, Seinfeld made this knowledge available to the public via George Costanza. Consequently, I can’t be expected to explain to a girl why I am way I am after a day at the beach.

Conversation Time-Savers?

The Braless Wonder: There are many nicknames that Larry David created for different kinds of people. While having a conversation with a girl, rather then go through the hassle of describing another person, one can use a simple Seinfeld coined term for that person. This saves time and any chance of confusion.

So to all the girls who are lining up to date me I would recommend you do your research first. Buy the DVD set, watch the re-runs on TV, or just watch YouTube clips. Just make sure by the time you meet me, you at least know what I’m talking about when I call someone a “close-talker.”

I’ll bill this one to Larry David and NBC marketing efforts …

Ever since the age of 15 or 16 (maybe younger for some sluts out there) romantic pursuit has caused all of us great joy or extreme heartbreak in one-way or another. Of course, the extreme heartbreak has always stuck with us, and left us to analyze what went wrong; usually resulting in the opposite guy or girl being labeled an asshole or a bitch (respectively?).  Throughout our lives we’ve been taught to respect others and simply putting it, have been told not be that asshole or a bitch. Nevertheless, I have recently, started to question this commandment, and asked myself, is being an asshole or a bitch actually that bad?

Whether a tingle in your pants, or an awkward feeling you only observe in romantic comedies, we all at some point or another attempt to pursue someone sexually and or romantically. And inevitably a lot of the times we get rejected. Moreover, at some point in our lives the roles are reversed when we have to do the rejecting and, its how a person chooses to reject that always fascinates me. There are of course many different kinds of rejections. At one end there’s the mean, “what were you even thinking” rejection; or the sympathetic “aww, that’s cute, you thought you had a chance” rejection; the deceitful “I’ll make up some random lie to get out of this crap” rejection and of course the “I’ll ignore this until it goes away” rejection. All of these rejections except for the first present this mirage that the rejector is this amazing human being that has spared the rejectee’s feelings in the most respectful and civilized manner. However, the person that does the rejectee the biggest favor is the asshole or bitch that goes with the “what were you even thinking rejection.”

The “what were you even thinking” rejection brings quick and immediate closure for the rejectee. The rejectee might feel like shit, however, he or she is not left in the dark. They know the answer and they know now to move on with their lives.  Additionally, rejector has given the rejectee a reason to hate the rejector, and in turn given them a solid excuse not associate with those types of people. This type of rejection also might teach the rejectee to better improve him or herself in the future so that they will do a better job with their romantic interest.

The other types of rejections are there just to make the rejector feel better and nothing else. The rejector is spared from future guilt and the rejectee is left feeling like shit wondering what just happened The rejectee doesn’t quite get why he or she was rejected, and doesn’t quite get whether to hate the rejector or hate him or herself. Any other type of rejection may also cause relapses. The rejectee might resort to annoying persistence, and awkward romantic gestures that shouldn’t even work in movies.

As a result, next time you get a chance do as all a favor and reject someone with passion and fervor! Be that asshole! Be that bitch! Unless it’s me… please don’t say no!

I hope I don’t feel guilty later about billing this…

Between blogging, tweeting, and lecturing homeless people while intoxicated I have imparted a lot of wisdom on this naïve world. Accordingly, in this moment of selflessness I would like to spill a few more drops of knowledge on the universe. (Plus I haven’t done a list in a while.)

The following are a few rules of the road to live by about activities that start off as great ideas, however, usually turn out to be quite awful.

1.   ROAD TRIP!!!: An RV trip over 12 hours with a mixed group of friends of single people  and married couples is NOT a good idea. If you’ve read my blog on married people, this has nothing to do with the marriage itself, but rather the awkward moments that ensue. An RV trip means you are in close encounters with various people for long periods of time. Usually married couples cannot go longer then 4-5 hours w/o fighting or arguing while they are in homely environment. The RV gives married people an illusion of such a homely environment. Ex post facto … you’re in the middle of their argument on a road trip (the only other time I misused that term was the bar exam). Moreover, on road trips over 12 hours, people will have to pee, poop, fart, hook up, and masturbate. Nothing is more awkward then catching a friend’s spouse masturbating and/or farting.
2. MANNEQUINS ARE HOT: Buying whatever the mannequin is wearing while shopping to make your life easier, is NOT a good idea. I understand that stores usually dress the mannequin’s in their best clothes. However, next time you’re in a store look at the mannequin and look at yourself and then note the differences. A mannequin, is usually pasty white, 6 feet tall, perfectly formed ass, and proportionate leg to body ratio. You on the other hand, probably have body hair, an uneven bone structure and more defined eyes, nose and mouth. Consequently, when you look up at the mannequin judge each individual clothing item on its merits and the compatibility to your body.
3. HIP-HOP RUINED MY LIFE?: Singing along to a hip-hop song at a club while not being of African-American decent, is NOT a good idea. I get it, you like hip-hop music because of its lyrics, beats and it lets you over-compensate for your cushy middle class up bringing. But lets face it, even though you bought a pair of kid cudi style skinny jeans from H & M you still look like an idiot screaming a hip hop song at the top of your lungs at a club. First of all you’re probably at a club, in which no one can relate to the lyrics, and second of all you’re probably getting more passionate about the song than the rapper himself. Not to mention the awkward moment of having to replace every occurrence of the ‘n’ word with jigga.
4.  KAMA SUTRA…SEXY TIME: Trying a difficult sexual position from the kama sutra after the age of 35 is NOT a good idea. You’re trying to spice up your sex life, you’re tired of the same old stuff, but why does your mind immediately think of Kama Sutra? Why not try role-play, exotic clothing or toys? Some of the positions in this “manual” are more difficult then they seem. If there’s one thing we’ve learned over the years is that being in awkward body positions gets more and more painful as we grow older. Trying these positions may cause dislocations of shoulders and knees, pulled muscles, and cramps in random body parts. Not to mention some positions require using muscles we did not know we even had. Finally we’ve all learned from yoga what kind of gas we release in our attempt to be flexible and nobody wants that in bed. 
5. BOTTLES FOR ALL: Putting down your credit card for bottle service at a club with a group of people where you only know a few of them is NOT a good idea. When the club promoter asks for someone’s credit card to start the tab for bottle service everyone is looking around for a volunteer. Don’t be that volunteer. Even though, everyone will tell you at the beginning of the night how they will pay their share of the bill, everyone in that group knows the math will never work out. Some of the people will get too intoxicated and forget to pay, and others will drink the alcohol and never intend to pay. And even if you can round up the courage ask everyone to pay you’ll never be sure what amount to ask for because you’ll never know who ordered those shots for the random girls on the table’s tab. In the end you’ll be drunk, lonely and $500 in the hole.

I hope I have been able to enlighten you with my warnings. This is a small list, however, if you live by these 5 rules, you will be safe from many disasters that started off as great ideas.

 I’ll bill this one to project proposals…

In business for more then 8 years, expected to hit 1 billion users in 2012, revolutionized social networking and I still get a redline when I type Facebook in Microsoft Word. Giving it the respect it deserves, a made-up word for a made-up little world that it has created. I think like me, Billy (Mr. Gates), refuses to bow down to the giant, that is Facebook*. Nevertheless, the reality of it is that Facebook has not only “revolutionized social networking” it has changed social interaction forever. Facebook has changed how we eat, drink, hang out, take pictures, make friends, have sex, not have sex and flat out live our daily lives. Its safe to say that Facebook created its own society and not being a part of that society is considered, appalling and uncivilized. Consequently, once and for all, I will declare to the world or to anyone who chooses to read this at least, why I choose not to be on Facebook.

Before I start listing my grievances I want to clear up that I do not question the usefulness of Facebook. Facebook IS actually a great tool to catch up with friends, post pictures, waste time, secure dates, and jerk it to pictures of girls at the beach/pool. I was a member of Facebook for three years and used most of its vast utilities (except for graffiti, I’m glad that fad died quickly). However, I soon realized I had joined a world, which was adding unnecessary social obligations, and accountability.

Pre-Mature … Opinions

Most humans are judgmental by nature (a scientific fact that I’ll conveniently never find a citation for). We judge everyone, people we know and we don’t know, while we sit on the metro, sit in class, work or when we just sit and people watch in general. However, Facebook takes, these judgments to the next level. It is quite a common occurrence for a fellow Facebook member to create an entire imaginary personality of another Facebook member based on one status message, picture, wall post, or even the simple like button.

Take for example the famous pastime of hanging out. A famous American tradition, whether it’s at someone’s house, bar, club or restaurant, everyone (with friends) enjoys hanging out. However, if a picture is posted, status message updated or a new friendship is formed on Facebook because of this hangout, frenzy breaks out in the Facebook community. Opinions are shared about the friends that are hanging out, where they are hanging out, what they were doing, their outfits, political views religious views, etc. If a new friendship is formed during that hangout between two single people of opposite sexes eyebrows are raised in curiosity on whether intimate relations are being pursued. Whether, positive or negative, Facebook members conveniently create opinions on anyone notable at said hangout within minutes of any update on Facebook.

These opinions and judgments are not limited to just casual hangouts, but also weddings, vacations, news articles, and of course, relationships.

The Facebook Commandments

Facebook has created many unnecessary social obligations. Facebook has made it compulsory for Facebook members to accept someone’s friendship after one hangout; invite someone random to a party just because you know that person will see the invitation on someone else’s wall; or even having to share a picture with someone just because they happened to be with you at that moment. Although all of these are annoying in its each way, none of them are as silly and needless as the obligation to announce the status of your intimate relationship with the entire Facebook community.

Prior to 2004, we all found out a person’s relationship status either through mutual friends, standing outside their window or from the horses mouth itself. However, Facebook has created a new phenomenon in regards to relationship statuses. Instead of the option of filling out your relationship status on Facebook, Facebook members create imaginary cyber pressure to update your relationship status accurately and in a timely fashion. And if a Facebok member does not update his or her status, other members automatically start to assume negative thoughts about that member. “Is he hiding something?” “Is she embarrassed of him?” “Is she still doing it with her ex?” “Did he die?” A person could be in perfect health and announcing his relationship to the world outside of Facebook, however, the Facebook community sits uneasy because they were left out.

We Find YOU Accountable

Facebook adds on piles and piles of unnecessary accountability. One little action on Facebook can cause a ripple effect resulting in needless blame, embarrassment, and/or loss of limbs.  How many times has one drunkenly hit the “like” button to a picture of an unknown girl at 2 AM on Saturday night? This may not seem like a unfixable error, since you can delete your post, however, Facebook does you the courtesy of sending an immediate email to every single person tagged in that picture and telling them what exact time you clicked the “like” button. You’re stuck with that reality forever. You can’t comment on that picture explaining yourself because that would make the situation worse nor can you pretend that it never happened because there is electronic proof. That simple (creepy) “like” not only pointlessly gives every girl in that picture needless confidence but also ruins your chances with each and everyone of them.

Facebook holds you socially accountable for every status message, wall post, picture or any minor action at all …and trust me it make sure there are consequences. 

Admissions

Some people will read this and agree with some points and disagree with others. But I know many people will read this and think that it’s complete nonsense, and that even though they are part of the Facebook society they do not live by its rules. To those people I ask you to think about the next time you spend more then 5 minutes discussing Facebook updates with another person…

Can I bill this one to Zuckerberg? Or is he running a bit dry after the Instagram purchase?

*Yes, I wrote this before Microsoft sold AOL Patents to Facebook.